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I buy individual James Bond movies on DVD as they become available, rather than grab one of the several boxed sets you see everywhere. The boxed sets always toss in one really good Bond flick with an assortment of stinkers. One at a time is the way to go.
My lovely wife knows of my fondness for Bond movies, so when she spotted a batch of new titles in the store she called me to see which ones to get. I had her pick up “Dr. No,” the very first Bond movie. Although it was made on a shoestring budget, it still stands up in my mind.
“Dr. No,” of course, introduced Sean Connery as 007. He set the right tone: suave, calm, competent, yet with his own somewhat larcenous, piratical spirit.
I also like Connery’s touch with some of the more bizarre elements of a Bond film: his bemusement with Dr. No’s odd behavior and megalomania, for instance, or the absurdity of waking up on a small island to see a drop-dead gorgeous woman emerge from the sea. I think Daniel Craig has something of the same touch himself in “Casino Royale,” and that’s a big part of why that movie works so well — that and the eye-popping action sequences.
The other 007 films I have so far are “Goldfinger,” “Thunderball,” “Goldeneye” and “Casino Royale.” What other Bond movies eventually will find their way into my collection?
- From Russia With Love (Connery)
- You Only Live Twice (Connery)
- Diamonds are Forever (Connery)
- Live and Let Die (Roger Moore)
- The Man with the Golden Gun (Moore)
- For Your Eyes Only (Moore)
- The Living Daylights (Timothy Dalton)
- Tomorrow Never Dies (Pierce Brosnan)
- The World is Not Enough (Brosnan)
I don’t really care if I never see “Moonraker” again. “On Her Majesty’s Secret Service,” with the hideously uncharismatic George Lazenby, is best forgotten. “Die Another Die” is an Abomination.
Others fall into a gray area — they don’t necessarily stink, but aren’t great, either. “The Spy Who Loved Me,” “Octopussy,” “A View to a Kill” — all with Moore — all have things I like combined with things that are painful to watch (Tanya Roberts trying to act, for crying out loud …) “Never Say Never Again” brought back Connery to do a remake of “Thunderball” with better special effects but with a score that just … does … not … work … “License to Kill” was one I looked forward to, because I thought Dalton did a good turn as 007 in “The Living Daylights.” But “License” was pretty lame, and had none of that “Bond feel.” I might watch at least part of any of these if I happen across them on TV, but I don’t need to have them in my DVD collection.
Some Bond superlatives, using my own highly idiosyncratic criteria. Feel free to disagree:
- Best chase: The foot pursuit of the bomb maker in “Casino Royale,” hands down. Honorable mention: The motorcycle fleeing a helicopter through a slum in “Tomorrow Never Dies.”
- Worst chase: The one from “The World is Not Enough” involving the ballooning snowsuit. Really, it was fine up to that point — but a ballooning snowsuit? C’mon.
- Best gadget: Little Nellie, the ultralight that did aerial combat with helicopters in “You Only Live Twice.”
- Worst gadget: The invisible car from “Die Another Day.”
- Best villain’s hideaway: Blofeld’s secret base beneath a fake lake in an extinct volcano, in “You Only Live Twice.”
- Worst villain’s hideaway: Crab Key, Dr. No’s place. Not bad for a low budget flick, really, but Bond arrives new to the scene and uncovers it in, what, 20 minutes? Get some security, for crying out loud.
- Best Bond girl: Daniella Bianchi in “From Russia With Love.” Classy, beautiful, charming accent, and not at all slutty. Honorable mention: Sophie Marceau, in “The World is Not Enough.” Honorable mention: Eva Green in “Casino Royale.” Honorable mention … oh, forget it. I could do this all day.
- Worst Bond girl: Tanya Roberts in “A View to a Kill.” Nice body, but I wince every time she speaks. Yuck. Honorable mention: Denise Richards in “The World is Not Enough.” Curvy as hell, yes — but why would anyone cast her as a nuclear scientist? Oh, yeah … curvy as hell.
- Best Felix Leiter, master of disguise: Jack Lord in “Dr. No.” (Felix Leiter, Bond’s CIA buddy, is a master of disguise because he appears in nearly every movie, yet is portrayed by a different actor every time. Sometimes he’s white, sometimes he’s black, sometimes he’s tall and hunky, sometimes he’s kind of guy-next-door. Felix Leiter — master of disguise!)
- Worst Felix Leiter, master of disguise: Norman Burton in “Diamonds Are Forever.”
- Best villain: Mads Mikkelsen as Le Chiffre, in “Casino Royale.” Honorable mention: Joseph Wiseman as Dr. No — quietly menacing, much the way Mikkelsen is in “Casino Royale.”
- Worst villain: Hugo Drax, in “Moonraker.”
- Best henchman: Oddjob, in “Goldfinger.” Honorable mention: Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd, the gay assassins in “Diamonds Are Forever.”
- Worst henchman: Jaws, in way too many freaking movies and that’s why I hate him.
- Best MI6 contact: Kerim Bey, in “From Russia With Love.” This guy is just plain cool.
- Worst MI6 contact: The guy in “Dr. No,” because the bad guys knew Bond was coming before Bond even knew he was coming.
- Best Bond: Sean Connery. Honorable mention: Daniel Craig.
- Worst Bond: George Lazenby, a.k.a. Double-Oh-Stupid, bearer of the “license to suck.”
– Steve