Gazing into my crystal ball …
Filed under: Rants
This time of year generally produces a lot of predictions from so-called psychics. They take a lot of shots in the dark, most involving at least a 50-50 chance, and then tout the ones that come true while conveniently foregtting the ones that don’t.
When tracked scientifically, they don’t outperform the expectations for a non-psychic person who is just guessing. That’s what scientists say, anyway.
So I thought I’d try my hand at it this year. Here are a bunch of predictions, and this time next year we’ll see how I did. Maybe I’ll make it an annual tradition.
- We will not see another major wildfire in California. There will be one, but Arnold Swarzenegger will travel back in time to put it out before it happens, so we’ll never hear about it.
- Britney Spears will get knocked up.
- A Democrat wins the presidency, but not the one who knocks up Britney Spears.
- Evidence of previous life on Mars will be discovered. Evidence of intelligent life at the Creation Museum will not be discovered.
- Alien abductions will increase tenfold in the United States. But a mind-screen beam from the alien mothership will prevent the majority of us from noticing.
- Pat Robertson will say something really whacky.
- Then, Pat Robertson will say something really, really, really whacky.
- Bill O’Reilly will make up some new controversy to help his next book sell.
- Ann Coulter will admit she’s just been making things up throughout her entire career. Her fans will go right on quoting her at length as though she’s some kind of authority on anything.
- I’ll eat peanut butter several days a week.
OK, feel free to add your own.
– Steve
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