Swords Against Boredom

When tracked scientifically, they don’t outperform the expectations for a non-psychic person who is just guessing. That’s what scientists say, anyway.

So I thought I’d try my hand at it this year. Here are a bunch of predictions, and this time next year we’ll see how I did. Maybe I’ll make it an annual tradition.

• We will not see another major wildfire in California. There will be one, but Arnold Swarzenegger will travel back in time to put it out before it happens, so we’ll never hear about it.
• Britney Spears will get knocked up.
• A Democrat wins the presidency, but not the one who knocks up Britney Spears.
• Evidence of previous life on Mars will be discovered. Evidence of intelligent life at the Creation Museum will not be discovered.
• Alien abductions will increase tenfold in the United States. But a mind-screen beam from the alien mothership will prevent the majority of us from noticing.
• Pat Robertson will say something really whacky.
• Then, Pat Robertson will say something really, really, really whacky.
• Bill O’Reilly will make up some new controversy to help his next book sell.
• Ann Coulter will admit she’s just been making things up throughout her entire career. Her fans will go right on quoting her at length as though she’s some kind of authority on anything.
• I’ll eat peanut butter several days a week.

OK, feel free to add your own.

– Steve

… and to all a good night.

– Steve

• Story sharing: Say I’ve been bugging someone to read a particular author. I could pop over to Anthology Builder, assemble a collection of that author’s work, and hand my friend with one book to enjoy at leisure.
• Gifts for fussy readers: If you know someone well enough, you could assemble an anthology with hand-selected stories, just for them.
• A book for me: I could assemble one book of my favorites, and dispense with trying to remember which anthology or magazine of the many, many, many on our shelves contains the particular story I am seeking.
• A collection of my own stuff: This one assumes, of course, that I could convince Anthology Builder to add my stuff to their catalogue of available stories. But if I could do that, I could assemble a collection of my sword-and-sorcery and order a few copies … not necessarily to sell, but to show at conventions and to curious folk who ask “what kind of stuff do you write.” I could hand them a book and say, “This kind of stuff.” And then they could read it and say, “Oooooookay … that’s nice” before scurrying back to safety.

There probably are other useful ways to use this Anthology Builder idea, too. It’s in beta testing now, but it seems an exciting idea to me.

– Steve

About that Faceless Sons story of mine going into the Flashing Swords Presents The Return of the Sword: An Anthology of Heroic Adventure print anthology from Flashing Swords…

Here’s the sweet sweet sweet sweet cover art from John Perkins:

OK … now the stories had better be goooooooood …

– Steve

One of my Faceless Sons stories, The Mask Oath, will appear in the Return of the Sword print anthology from the fine people who bring you Flashing Swords ezine.

Originally, the anthology was going to include The Bloated Curse, a Spider John story. That story originally was sold to Flashing Swords under the editorship of Howard Andrew Jones. When HAJ moved on to Black Gate and new management took over at Flashing Swords, the management created a Flashing Swords Annual E-Anthology, and Spider’s story went in there. It was available for sale for a very short time before Flashing Swords parent company Pitch-Black Books went belly up. My Spider John story sank along with it.

When a new team took charge at Flashing Swords, they decided to revive some of those “lost” stories — along with a lot of new stuff — in Return of the Sword. Editor Jason Waltz started with some of the e-anthology material and built from there. The Bloated Curse appeared destined to rise again.

But wait … a funny thing happened on the way to publication.

Jason Waltz sent me an email telling me how much he liked Gram’s Gift, a Faceless Sons story that appeared a while back in Amazing Journeys Magazine. He was enthusiastic about the whole concept of the Faceless Sons, and had been wanting to read one of the stories.

So, I sent him an unpublished Faceless Sons piece to satisfy his curiosity and to benefit from his reaction and advice. Well, the story was The Mask Oath, and Jason really liked it. He also felt it was a better fit for the anthology he’s building than The Bloated Curse.

So, out with the curse and in with the mask, and instead of a reprint not seen by many there will be a fresh Goble story instead. This one is, more or less, the origin story for this trio of sword-and-sorcery heroes.

Pardon me, now, while I go find someplace to publish The Bloated Curse …

– Steve

A blog called Quasar Dragon has some very nice things to say about Flashing Swords No. 8, wherein you can find a Calthus tale from me, a John Humble tale from TW Williams and work from S.C. Bryce, Michael Turner, Jason Waltz and more.

Quasar Dragon includes a lot of cover art from books and magazines it mentions, and a cursory look on my part indicates it might be a fun place to check out.

– Steve

Why is stuff like this even an issue?

COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) - Under an order from Gov. Ted Strickland, Nativity scenes removed from two state parks have been put back up. The Christmas manger displays in Shawnee State Park in Scioto County and Malabar Farm in Richland County had been taken down after a complaint from a Columbus man citing fairness issues. He argued that large figures representing the Hindu and Zoroastrian religions should be displayed, too.

Strickland spokesman Keith Daily says the governor decided last week that the Nativity scenes should be restored to the state parks because they’re appropriate and traditional.

The two Nativity scenes in question were donated by civic groups. The one at Malabar has been part of the Christmas season for decades. And you can’t go anywhere in the United States this time of year without seeing a few Nativity scenes, anyway.

So, I can’t see any big reason to get all up in arms about a Nativity in a state park. Yeah, it’s on public land, but it’s not using public dollars. If the guy from Columbus wants, he’s free to get his local Zoroastrian group to donate a Zoroastrian display — and the park manager is free to decide against displaying it if it is, you know, really ugly or something.

The whole thing was a total overreaction. One man complained at one park, and the state’s park manager ordered the Nativity scenes removed. This one didn’t even involve courts or the American Civil Liberties Union. Just one complaint is all it took.

Anyway, I’m glad to see Gov. Strickland countermand the overreaction that made this an issue in the first place. I’m all for government staying out of the religion business, but a couple of donated Nativity scenes in state parks just doesn’t amount to a government endorsement of religion, to my thinking.

If you are wandering around in those parks this time of year, enjoy the decorations.

– Steve

P.S. — And the next time you hear the likes of Ann Coulter or anyone else whining about how “godless liberals hate God” and “want to remove all mention of God from our society” because they all “hate God,” etc., please just remember that it was a liberal Democratic governnor in Ohio who said, “What? That’s nuts. Put the Nativity scenes back up.” (OK, Strickland didn’t actually say that. I made that quote up. But he did order the Nativity scenes restored.) Also recall that the liberal ACLU in Ohio has no issue with the Nativity scenes in our parks, either.