Swords Against Boredom

I spent part of this afternoon sending out replies to submissions for our Carnivah House anthology, “The Infinity Swords.”

Sending rejections isn’t a whole lot more fun than receiving them, I find.

Some writers made it easy on us, sending in stories that really weren’t polished, or stories set in the same standard fantasyland as so many others, or with plots and themes seen too often. For those, I offered what advice I could (when I had advice) and let them down as easily as possible. (Gere and TW also are handling responses, and are taking a similar approach.)

Sometime soon, I’ll write a “Sins of the Slushpile” post delineating common problems I saw in reading subs. Don’t worry, though; I won’t be identifying particular authors or stories by name. My purpose will be to educate and to spur conversation, not to embarrass.

Other writers made it damned difficult on us. We had to reject a few stories for no other reason than we couldn’t afford to buy all the stories we wanted. A few stories were very good, but had one little thing that didn’t quite work for us. One or two of those would have merited rewrite requests, if we had a bigger budget. Alas, we don’t.

All the replies should be sent within a week or so. Next, we get on with editing and assembly. I assume we’ll argue a bit over which story should lead off the anthology, and which should take a place of honor at the rear. We have quite the varied lot, so it won’t be easy.

But it will be fun.

– Steve

My attempt at a sword-and-sorcery flash story, Invincible, went live today at “Every Day Fiction. You can read Invincible here.

Invincible was written specifically because EDF editor Jordan Lapp put out a call for more genre fiction at his magazine. I also wanted to see if I could even do it; I don’t think sword-and-sorcery lends itself to flash very well. But I think I made a noble stab at the beast.

Other genres seem to work quite well in flash. Science fiction certainly can work nicely in short doses. Humor? Yep. Literary vignettes? Certainly. Horror, too, although suspense is difficult to build in a thousand words. But you can go for the sudden jolt of fear, or the quick gross out.

Sword-and-sorcery flash is a different animal. To me, genuine sword-and-sorcery requires some suspense, and suspense takes time. Add in the necessity to develop character and setting, since sword-and-sorcery doesn’t generally take place in the real world, and you’ve got a tall order.

I gave it a shot; feel free to come back here and tell me what you think.

Invincible marks my third appearance in EDF’s flash-story-a-day venue. Tell’s Choice appeared in October 2007, and is now archived there. If you are so inclined, you can read Tell’s Choice here.

My second EDF story, Monochrome, is archived here.

– Steve

I think it’s a really good sign that the longer I know my wife, the more I love her.

I got home from work in the wee hours today, feeling a bit surly and sour. I walked up from the garage, wandered in to kiss my sleeping wife and then to kiss my sleeping daughter. Already, I was feeling better. I gave the impatient beagle a treat, let her out into the yard as per tradition, and went to hang up my coat.

There in the closet, where I couldn’t miss it, was a bottle of Belgian beer I’d never tried. That might not sound like a big deal to you, but then you might not realize A) how much I love Belgian beers, and B) how much I wanted a beer at that moment.

My wife Gere, however, does realize these things.

You see, it’s been a bit of a rough week. I was sick for a couple of days, snow storms have tossed our daughter’s school schedule to and fro, Gere and I both have been driving to work on sheets of ice and there are other things going on, too.

So, I drove home from work thinking a beer would be a good thing. I have two good bottles of beer downstairs, but I’ve been trying to save them. One is a 750 ml bottle of Three Philosophers, a brew from Brewery Ommegang that I adore. I keep hearing that Three Phils improves with aging, but being who I am … aging is seldom an option. Whenever I’ve gotten my hands on a bottle of Three Phils, the cork comes out rather soon. This time, I had determined to let it cellar a while.

On the way home from work, though, my resolve on that score was weakening considerably.

The other bottle stored downstairs is another Ommegang product. This one is called Chocolate Indulgence, and it is the best stout I’ve ever had. It’s also a seasonal beer, and so when I open that 750 ml bottle it might be a loooooong time before I get another. So I’ve been trying to hold off on that one, too.

Of course, as I drove home, I could hear it calling me.

So … when I found that bottle of new beer in the closet (which is against an outside wall, and so a perfect place to chill beer in the winter) I smiled and knew that someone loved me. I picked it up; the label said Abbey de Leffe Blond. “Never had one of you,” I thought, then went into the bedroom to kiss my sleepy wife one more time and say thanks.

I opened the beer, poured it into a fluted glass and took a nice deep whiff. I was impressed. The dog knocked before I took the inaugeral sip, so I went to let her in — and then remembered the red pepper left over from my dinner. So I went to put the pepper in the fridge and found another bottle. And another smile.

I sipped my brew and my respect for Belgium as a brewing nation deepened. My admiration for Gere deepened, too.

Beer in hand, I headed toward the library intending to write something lovely about the woman I married. There by the computer, I found another bottle. I had to stifle my laughter to avoid waking up my girls. Next, I commenced the beer scavenger hunt. Surliness was a thing forgotten — there were bottles to find!

I have no idea whether I’ve found them all; one was tucked up above the mission oak entertainment center in the living room. I may have to open another bottle and see if it fuels my creativity, so I can think of other places she might have placed one. She’s crafty, that wife of mine.

And perfect.

Happy Valentine’s Day, Gere. I love you.

– Steve

Sorry there have been no posts here recently. I’ve been busy, I’ve been sick, you know the drill.

I’ll try to post something actually interesting within the next couple of days, but I’ll take a moment here to correct an oversight on my part. My demon story Zeerembuk was reprinted recently in issue 9 of Flashing Swords ezine. Here’s a direct link to the story.

Zeerembuk is a bloody little sword-and-sorcery piece, with hardly an ounce of literary merit, but I think it’s fun. It flips the whole hero-villain thing on its head a bit, and includes some squishy violence. And I would be remiss if I didn’t take a moment to thank every overly demanding boss I’ve ever had for inspiring it. Fiction is just such a nice way to work out frustrations, don’t you think?

Anyway, I hope you enjoy it. Zeerembuk first appeared in an anthology called “Clash of Steel III: Demon,” from Carnifex Press, in Spring 2006.